Sitting here drunk thinking of the past. It’s interesting the short life spans we have in this world. And how just yesterday I was going to school at daniel pratt. I now understand why parents don’t want these kids to grow up. Growing up is the worst thing for a human being. Time is lost and the moments you wished you used are gone. I just want to die with my wives embrace around me. I have much more to live for because of her. Thank you angel.

Future is stupid

Lol What do we do with our time we plan to do certain things only for it to fall apart. I had plan and I couldn’t even keep them moving forward. Wife got a new job and now I still work at the same shitty place. It’s going to be interesting to see what changes now. But either way blast the music feel the beat and take each step with your own two fucking feet.

I’m FAT.

Today fucking sucked. My fat cried. I cried. I looked at my hubby and said “fuck you” as I was struggling with a low weight. At the time I felt like I was dying and that I couldnt do it. He was trying to get me to push myself. I ended up able to do it. Still, I was contemplating whether skinny/fit was worth that pain. Then I remembered that it wasnt my fat or my comfort on the line. It’s my marriage. I cant lose that. I cant lose him. So I’m gonna keep pushing. As much as it sucks. As much as I hurt. I will lose this weight and be fit. I want to be able to chase the dogs and kid. I want to have an active, enjoyable sex life with my husband. Maybe working out will grow on me like hot sauce did. Here’s to hoping.

Come on bitch, you cant fail, you cant give up. Not on this. Do it for you. Your heart has been funny.

Fix your weight. Fix you. Fix your marriage.